Welcome to the final Pulse Files of the countdown to World Cup 2010 South Africa. We complete the Group C and the competition in general with a look at England.ENGLAND
History lesson
Knocked out in the quarter-finals six times, the semi-finals once and won it in 1966 when King Harold took an arrow in the eye for the lads. Forty-four years of frustration and soul-searching have followed, undone by scapegoated reserve goalkeepers (1970), semi-fit talismen missing sitters (1982), devious Argentinians (1986 and 1998), hubris (2002 and 2006) and unscrupulous foreigners practising penalties (1990, 1998 and 2006).
Tactics board
Fabio Capello has used 4-3-3 and 4-4-2 but 4-2-3-1 has been his most successful formation with Gareth Barry and Frank Lampard the two central midfielders, a right-wing flyer in Theo Walcott or Aaron Lennon, Steven Gerrard floating about the left and desperate to cut inside to create room for Ashley Cole up the flank, and Wayne Rooney playing off Emile Heskey who grinds down defenders with his running but almost never scores. The first-choice back four has hardly played together recently but that hasn't tempered the usual optimism that "this time, more than any other time, we'll get it right".
Grudge match
Anyone who has metaphorically spilt their pint over the past two centuries – basically every team but especially Germany, Portugal and Argentina.
Also Known as
The Three Lions – a marketing man's overhaul of the old Ingerland brand.
The players
Vuvuzela superstar
Wayne Rooney has evolved from a spud-faced nipper with a cocker spaniel's inability to leave any ball unchased and a turbulent temper that endangered Portuguese testicles into a truly world-class spud-faced forward who has harnessed his skills and drive. All this and the swashbuckler's natural, off-the-cuff talent to make defenders look as if they're playing in lead boots, too.
There's always Bolton
Nothing doing, David James apart, if he's willing to shift his Chopper collection and begin a painstaking search for a visually-impaired Bolton barber.
Laager lout
The 2009's Daddies Sauce dad of the year and former captain John "JT" Terry is the lawyer's friend. We blame the parents.#
The coach
Body double
Stick on a fez and whip off the specs and just like that you've got Tommy Cooper. Otherwise, Capello's Postman Pat in a foul temper.
Big game hunter
Six Serie A titles (or seven depending on your view of calciopoli) with Milan, Roma and Juventus as a coach and two in Spain 10 years apart with Real Madrid. Milan's 4-0 drubbing of Barcelona in the 1994 European Cup final was an astoundingly courageous tactical masterpiece.
Loved or loathed
Respect has blossomed into affection. Oddly masochistic relish remains at his "iron fist" and "rod of iron".
The country
Commentators' kit
Fabio Capello is fastidious about what he wears but his contempt for the ankle sock is strange. "When a gentleman crosses his legs and the trouser leg rides up to show hairy shins at the top of the sock," he says, "it offends my eyes." More than one reason, then, for his team to pull them up.
They gave the world
Sir Isaac Newton, Michael Faraday, Charles Babbage, Geoffrey Chaucer, William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Sir Winston Churchill, William Wilberforce, John, Paul, George and Ringo. In short, they gave the world a fine hand in almost any game of international bragging rights, not that they like to dwell on the past.
National monument
A once stiff upper lip that now needs Viagra to reach historical levels of rigidity.
Qualifying
Cruised to qualification after a ropey first-half during their first game against Andorra. Hammered Croatia 4-1 away and 5-1 at home to banish the Wally with the Brolly hangover. Won nine and lost only to Ukraine.
The Triesman tapes ... what he didn't say
"This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, this other Eden, demi-paradise... this blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this Ingerland."
Statistics
World Cup record: 12 finals
P55 W25 D17 L13 F74 A47
Winners: 1, 1966
9: England have negotiated the group stage successfully on their last nine appearances in World Cup finals
Fixtures
USA, 12 June, Royal Bafokeng Stadium, 7.30pm
Algeria, 18 June, Green Point Stadium, 7.30pm
Slovenia, 23 June, Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium, 3pm
The verdict
The trust in Fabio Capello is accompanied by a fear that the squad is too thin to withstand much adversity. If Wayne Rooney stayed fit, if Steven Gerrard got his form back and if the centre-backs were in rude health, England would present a severe problem to most. Capello needs to refresh a dynamism that has waned. Semi-finalists.
THE TWO TOP WORLD CUP 2010 SONGS:
We have trawled through a number of songs, submitted by the good and the lunatic fringe and selected the best. This is obviously our opinion, just take our word for it.
The frst is James Corden and Dizzee Rascal ‘Shout’ the link is listed below. Please download this as the proceeds are going to a good cause.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-cup/2010/06/03/james-corden-and-dizzee-rascal-world-cup-song-listen-to-a-clip-of-the-song-here-115875-22305855/
The second is by a group of ex-pats in Lanzarote. The Skatoons have recorded ‘The World Cup’s Waiting For You’. Go to www.theskatoons.mfbiz.com. Well worth a listen.
John Crace from the Guardian takes an honest look at Team Selection:
In an ideal world, goalkeepers David James, Joe Hart and Rob Green would all find themselves on the subs bench. Unfortunately one of them has to play; it's a bit of a toss-up as to which. All three switch from being classy shot-stoppers to error-strewn amateurs in the blink of an eye.
Of the eight defenders, only Ashley Cole and Glen Johnson would give opposition strikers a sleepless night. Jamie Carragher is rusty, John Terry out of form, and Ledley King was off the pace against Mexico, and looks a sure bet to join Rio Ferdinand – who barely made it off the plane – in the physio room. Ferdinand's absence may do England a favour as King's Tottenham team-mate Michael Dawson, called up as a late replacement, is at least fit and in form. If Matthew Upson and Steve Warnock get a sniff of an outing, however, then the game really will be up.
The midfielders are rather more promising, especially if Gareth Barry is actually fit. Newly appointed skipper Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard and Aaron Lennon should complete a strong midfield quartet, with Lennon's pace making him a potential match-winner. Michael Carrick, James Millner and Joe Cole are more than adequate alternatives, although the completely useless Shaun Wright-Phillips can count himself lucky to make the squad ahead of the nearly-always useless Theo Walcott.
As for our so-called forwards, Emile Heskey has made an international career out of not scoring goals, while neither Wayne Rooney nor Jermaine Defoe can buy a goal at the moment – so we're going to have to rely on the ball bouncing unintentionally off various parts of Peter Crouch's 6ft 7in frame or the kindness of opposition own-goals to get on the score sheet . . .
Thats it from the Pulse File, we would like to thank our friends at Telegraph Sport, Guardian Sport, FIFA World Cup and Paddy Power for their help in compiling the Files. It leaves it to us to wish England the best of luck – bring it home boy’s
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